have you ever searched? the way you combed the house for that one memento, like the long-forgotten scene in the memory that you impulsively feel had to be brought to the surface. i have searched too, for that one lost hairpin, and for a dog-eared leaf that had been swallowed whole by the book i had been reading. what i really wanted to find, though, was for something that i had never seen, nor touched, nor grown fond of, nor felt. how do you recover something that was never misplaced? i wanted to draw a map, to this place of found things, of things you might want to find, and things you never knew you wanted to find. but where would I begin?
there are many dangers with searching for something you've never seen before, like not knowing whether it'll be blue as a cloudless sky, pretty like a dream, or as ordinary as any other thing that you take for granted. but the scariest thing is when you start looking for it in things that are not. when you think you see a deep hyacinth blue, with cerulean undertones, a concoction of midnight and the essence of cornflowers. but in split-second glimpses, in moments of truths, in instances of self-honesty and sadness, you realise that all it is is a common- such a common, common blue.
on second thoughts, i think i lied. i think this thing that i claimed to never have seen, nor touched, nor grown fond of, nor felt, i've already painted in my dreams. a deep hyacinth blue, with cerulean undertones, a concoction of midnight and the essence of cornflowers, I have painted. such rigid strokes, such sure lines, and impossibly certain slashes. but so seemingly right to me, and necessarily exact, even now, when all there is is a common, common blue.
Comments (2)
beautifully written
what about the strands of navy, orbs of indigo and strides of cyan? surely, they too must be part of your common, common blue. hi btw. =P